NO, I didnt have a safe trip to Oz, I nearly died!!
1:First of all I had to fly to Brisbane in a 737 squished up next to a pair of overeaters who wanted to eat my cheese. MY cheese!! ...oh umm yea fine, have my cheese you greedy jerks, because then I get to enjoy the unadulterated delisciousness of 3 dry crackers all on their own!! oh ..hang on a second ....NO!! what you can have is the empty plastic wrapping you greedy fat-jokes, eat it and choke.
2:Second of all I had a three hour wait at the boringest airport in the southern hemisphere, which was delayed a further hour making it a FOUR hour wait at the boringest airport in the southern hemisphere
3:Thirdly of all, by the time I finally got on the plane, I was looking forward to falling asleep, just falling asleep, but NO!! Chaterbox McCorkindale wanted to know everything about everything.
"GET FUCKED" I politely shouted, "I should like to get some sleep now!", but NO!!. No sleep for me, I was over-tired and just couldnt settle-in. So I spent the whole 5 hour flight NOT sleeping, couldnt get comfortable, leg was all nervy and twitchy, and I was just plain fucked off.
Oh yea and on top of that the movie was Rocky Balboa ...and yes, it is just as stink as every other Rocky movie
But now Im here, its ok. Iv stayed up drinking through the entire night twice. Had long drunken conversations with small groups of people. Almost started a riot when I somehow got through to the final round of the pool competition. Some members of the crowd jeered at me while I screwed with the other guys psychological game
..I thought some of the things I said about his sisters vagina were very flattering, so Im not sure what the all the fuss was about.
Ate meat on Easter friday, much to the chagrin of the large drunken Irish Catholic contingent
..ended up telling them that Catholisism was rubbish, Its purpose is to seperate man from God in order to maintain a chokehold of power over its believers, its followers are stupid enough to believe that the church owns their lives, its not even real Christianity, it markets fear and powerlessness to the fearful and powerless and i didnt know what the fuss has been about in Ireland for all these years. Got punched in the lip. We all made friends later.
Anyway Im in Manjimup again now, had a blazing first 4 days with Benjamin5 and Jay. No ordinary bender, we bent it like Beckham. When we finally came to, we had to be re-introduced to everybody we had met over the previous 4 days. Everything was ok in the end. Must have hard-core belly laughed for around 69hours during that time.
Off to the forest again on Sunday, 6 months in our own house in Mt Barker, sweet.
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12 comments:
Nice to see you never change babe, still as fucked in the head as ever!! Love it! PJ x
You better have that cd finished or you'll get more than a punch in the lip - glad you enjoyed the flight over tho sounds like so much fun. Hope all well wi you. Moj x
oh yeah and if you go to www.globalgossip.com and scroll down you'll find out how to waterproof your electronics navy seal style.
Hey found ya! ha! your collection of niece and nephews miss ya. x x x
was I wrong in interpretting 'ate meat' as a sexual connotation?
PJ;"fucked in the head" is only the begining of the catacombe upon which you are precariously balanced
Moj: you can go and take a running, leaping, jump at yourself and your dumb ol'CD
Also: I already am a navy seal you jackass
Pip: well done! please tell..
..:sammy'lil'animal: that I see fairies every day, they live in the forest where I work, we are good friends.
..:the robot Leontis prime: that I have a laser gun which is more powerful than his shoes, and I have met SpiderMan and we are best Pals, we have coffee together sometimes.
..:Jedi: whatever you want .. he is only three (or whatever) and wouldnt understand anyway
Jala: or, whom I prefer to call Larj, on account of how how Allah tends to eat sometimes, Yes it is a metaphore for the eating of human male ..ness, Im a big gay
big fatty humungiss large-o hoe-mo lady timsy pimsicle. p.s. u r gay love from xxx
when you teaching me about the next best thing after strongbad. strongbad is a powerful funny but there must be more.
U so aint a navy seal u numpty...... more of, shall we say, a 'blubber'?! x PeeJ x
yo cuz muf whats up bay.ata of course.where can i send you some pics cause i got some of my new MO!cause im M.O.....MO keri has only threatened to leave me cause of it,but i like my new pimp job.those ladies are so wrongly misunderstood.you must give the strippers money,support there blight.and you may not hear from me for the next 9 months,after watching the program on nz sas iv decided they need me,watch your back in the bush....i will be watching..and whats your cell..if you got one yet..A HOLE
Where is Mt Barker? I'm guessing somewhere in a forest in Oz. What can you do there?
i've heard that if you get two bits of really dry hardwood and rub them together you can create enough energy to build your own wireless connection... try it a'right cos your peeps are dangling like a little dribble at the end of less than satisfying piss if you know what i mean
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