Dangerous Things

We face many dangerous things everyday in our line of work
... a bit like firefighters mostly, but also a bit like navy seals ..also sorta like fur seals in the early 1900's
Difference being -we dont even CARE!- we just wake-up, man-up and soldier on

Here are just some of the every-day dangers that we dont even batter our eyelids at:



Dangerous Thing #1
These caterpillars have been known to savage a man so severely as to render him completely unable to have smoko with the boys. They move like lightning and have red faces because they burrow into your body, remove your kidneys and sell them on e-bay ..and theres lots of blood around the kidneys ..which makes the red
..:Pip:.. if u read this tell Leo, Sammi and Jedi that this is my friend Professor Wriggle and he is my best friend and he eats soo many vegetables and never gets bored or scared and always helps people because he loves helping and he is my best friend in the forest ..and he definitely doesnt steal peoples kidneys




Dangerous Thing #2
These ones are called "spit-fire caterpillars" because they are able to generate a flaming plume of brimstone when startled. Here they are just dribbling a mucous made up largely of eucalyptus oil from the leaves they eat, but that is because I didnt really startle them properly. When gathered in large enough numbers they are able to trigger a 30megaton nuclear meltdown, its true, I know because my mate saw it happen and took pictures but the pictures got melted down in the meltdown reaction and melted




Dangerous Thing #3
This is a dead red-back spider dangling down from the thing above my bed. I woke up with it about 8cm from my face ...my face wasnt very happy about that and it almost squealed like a little girl. I took this picture 3 or 4 days after it was dead so it has dried up a little bit and has an abdomen like a catwalk model, which is fortunate because you can see the red stripe on its back by looking through its belly, kinda like how you can see a catwalk models spine if you look at her belly.




Dangerous Thing #4
This is a Bob-Tailed Lizard, we love these guys because they eat snakes. Between the 6 guys in our crew we have seen 5 snakes in our blocks in the last 2 weeks. 4 of them were Tiger snakes which is ok, they are only a little bit bitey but they mostly run away from the noisy noise we make. The other one was a Dugite, or, Brown Snake ..they are very bitey and poisonous-er than most things and they dont run away so good.




YAY! for bigmouth




Dangerous Thing #5
These flowers, with their halcyon lavender plumage are not directly dangerous on their own, but, as everyone knows, Purple attracts lesbians! ..the last thing you need when you are operating a whirling chain capable of causing grievous harm. Trees wont be the only things with missing limbs if your attention is suddenly distracted by a teeming field of lesbians writhing in goats milk amongst the natural flora.




Dangerous Thing #6
ok! hard to make something up for this one ..its real pretty tho





Dangerous Thing #7
HUNTSMAN SPIDER!!.. large as a volkswagen beetle!! just eaten two of my friends and heading towards me, fortunately it ate my friend Rock first which slowed the fierce monster down a lot because Rock wieghs about 190kg and is definitely the fattest one out of us ...must run for life... good luck Rock .. good luck mate .. I miss you, you sperm-whale sized fatty with your own gravitational pull ...I live because you are such a big fat guy ..I'll never forget ..some of you. I say some because you are just way too fat to fit in my memory banks ...you are too fat too fit into all of the NASA super computers memory banks, I feel sorry for the spider.





Mystery Object #1
DONT LOOK DOWN at the next picture because then you will spoil the challenge phase of the quizz





Dangerous Thing #8
Whirling chains of flailing destruction. The mighty Stihl MS260




Dangerous Things House #1
This reminded me of the tunnel into Shelobs lair




Dangerous Thing #9
times almost up, Im just gonna say "Shelob"





Dangerous Thing #10
This essential tool of our trade keeps us alive-and-not-deaf, it comes in bright orange and is VERY big in Milan.




Dangerous Thing #11
A side effect of staying alive-and-not-deaf can be a powerfully lady-repelling case of hat-hair. Here is an example of force-9 hat-hair caused by the above hat-hair-generator ..I survived but look at the determination in my eyes, many have crumbled under onslaughts of lower magnitudes ...I am barely maintaining consciousness here ..Im like a Jet Pilot in a 15G turn




Dangerous Thing #12
This is a carnivorous plant, as far as scientists have been able to ascertain it is an evolutionary left-over from when the Triffids ran amok in London on that T.V. show during the 80's. Here you can clearly see the remains of a large dangerous animal that fell haplessly into the grasp of this ravenous vine.




Dangerous Thing #13
Dangerous alright ..but only if you are the ladies
let your fingers do the walking pj